Day 5: Koreans, Crabs, Organics, Indians

A much smaller can of what appeared to be coffee gave me the fortitude to open a frozen packet of what actually was a Korean popsicle. After that, the bunch of circus-midget bananas was easy. Happily, they tasted better than regular-sized bananas.

The tea was bad. It was called Lapsang Sontag or something, and tasted the way a feminist watching a beauty pageant feels.

When I saw bags of Tam Tam for sale, my eye was immediately drawn to the tagline, "Crab Flavored Snack."
This is an idle boast. If it were 100% accurate, the tiny chips would be inedible. Because they taste only vaguely like crab, they are delicious.

Did you know that organic cola existed? Well, here it is. It has none of the crispness, the tang, of regular cola, and is smooth and sweet, much like a forgotten bottle of Soda Stream you found in the back of the cupboard.

I can't imagine that the wild and woolly proponents of organic food would have much of a hankering for cola, which may explain why I've never seen this before in my life.


 

I found this pack at the local Indian food store. As I can't read the language, going by the imagery I can only assume that it is intended to induce vivid hallucinations in children.
I purchased it immediately.

I pulled one of the flat discs out and gingerly tasted it. Not only was it disgusting, it also stuck to every part of my mouth and, coughing and spluttering, I removed it with a toothbrush and what must have been upwards of two litres of water.
Anything that harms me must be destroyed with fire. I put the next disc in a pan with hot oil, and it bubbled and coalesced into a recognizable form: a papadom. The packet only says "PAPAD" — I guess, in the Indian tradition, you must bring your own OM.

I had six, with sauce to mask the texture, which was that of extremely old documents.